


Don't Mention It

by Maliam (orphan_account)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Alternating, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness, Star Trek: Into Darkness Spoilers, Tarsus IV, Unrequited Love, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2752769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Maliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love has a weird way of sneaking up on you, throwing you against a wall and punching you until you see stars. Yet you always go back for more.</p><p> </p><p>  <i>He wanted to grab Spock and throw him against the wall. Yell at him and scream and make him realize that he didn’t have to resign. Kirk wanted to punch himself, violently and painfully, because why hadn’t he seen it earlier. Kirk wanted a lot of things but the only words that fell from his mouth probably made everything worse.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“Don’t mention it.”</i></p><p>(ON HIATUS)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Emotionally Compromised

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is on hiatus until future notice. If you want to know why, click [here](http://maliam.tumblr.com/post/118412778324/dont-mention-it-is-now-on-hiatus)

“Captain.” Spock said as he entered the Jim’s quarters. Jim was sprawled against his sofa, sipping a glass of bourbon. For a second, Jim was shocked by Spock coming to his quarters. Spock didn’t often seek Jim out directly and less often did he enter his quarters to speak with Jim. Something must have happened. Jim sat up on the sofa, swaying slightly from the alcohol. A splash of bourbon jumped from his glass as he steadied himself on the coffee table. Spock took a step back. “I apologize, Captain, I will return at a better time.”

“Spock.” Jim warned. He knew for sure that if he let Spock leave, he wouldn’t tell Jim  what he came in his quarters for. The last time Spock caught Jim at the wrong time, Jim had to find out from Uhura that they had broken up. Jim spent the entire week before asking Spock how Uhura was and bugging him about how she was in bed but Spock said nothing about their breakup. Like hell if he was going to go through that embarrassment again.

Spock ducked his head slightly, something Jim learned meant more than Spock let on. Though why Spock was feeling shameful at this moment was beyond Jim’s understanding. Jim pushed himself from his sofa so he could steer Spock further into the room. If Jim placed himself between Spock and the door there was less of a chance of Spock backing out.

Taking a steady breath, Spock spoke his mind. “I apologize for the inconvenience I might cause by doing this but it is a necessary action.” Spock paused in his explanation to observe Jim’s reaction. Jim simply nodded his head, and relaxed himself. It wasn’t like Spock hadn’t done this before. Last time Spock said this very same sentence, he wanted to take shore leave. Spock stared carefully at Jim before continuing. “I must resign from my post as First Officer.”

Jim’s jaw almost dropped open from shock. “Are you crazy? Like hell I’m going to let you resign!”

Green tinted Spock’s cheeks as Jim spoke, only to disappear just as quick as it appeared. Spock had crazy control over his body. Which Jim couldn’t deny, interested him in more ways than one. Shaking his head, Spock stepped back.

“Starfleet mandates that if an officer, especially a Captain or a First Officer, has been emotionally compromised they must resign from their post.”

“Emotionally compromised?” Jim spat out. How could Spock, a vulcan, be emotionally compromised? Spock had only been emotionally compromised two times in the years Jim’s known him. Once when Jim said Spock never loved his mother and the day when Jim had died. He never got to see the second time he lost control but Uhura had told him that Spock went primal. He had only stopped in his attempt to kill Khan when Uhura said that Jim could be saved by his blood. If Spock was compromised… then something terrible must have happened. “Are you serious? Is it Uhura?” Uhura seemed liked the only person possible. They had broken up, perhaps Spock still had feelings towards her. Though she was on shore leave, it didn’t make sense that he was compromised by her.

Spock pressed his lips together. He was hiding something. Spock always pushed his lips together when he was hiding something. It was almost impossible for Spock to hide things from Jim anymore. “No, Captain-”

“Damnit, Spock, you know you can call me Jim when we’re off the bridge.” Jim snapped. It wasn’t like Spock to be so weird. Granted, compared to most people on the crew, Spock had always been weird, but this was even weird for Spock. Spock refused to say anything, only looking around. He looked anywhere but Jim’s face. Anger grabbing hold of him, Jim growled. He brought his hands to Spock’s face and forced Spock to look at him, causing Spock to freeze in place and stare at Jim. He knew touch meant more to Vulcans than it did to humans but Jim also knew that Spock would understand that Jim touched him out of frustration. “Who is it?”

“I am afraid I do not understand, Capt- Jim.” Spock responded. Bullshit. Spock knew exactly what Jim meant.

“Who emotionally compromised you on the bridge? What did they say? Did they insult your father? Your mother?” Jim snarled. His hands released Spocks face, falling to his sides in fists. He was trying to steady himself but he couldn’t find footing in the anger he was feeling. Whoever made Spock want to resign was dead. “Who is making you want to resign? I’ll make them resign instead.”

“Respectably, Jim, I do not believe the resignation of the Captain would solve anything.”

Jim stepped back. “I… me? What did I do? Did I say something stupid? If I did, I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry. Spock don’t-”

“It is not what you have said. It is who you are. Now, if you would excuse me.”

Spock attempted to sidestep around Jim. Jim moved to stop him from leaving.

“Who I am? What do you… Wait, because I’m bisexual?” Jim asked. “Spock, we talked about this, since when is this a problem?” Jim remembered very clearly when Spock came into his room to tell him about what happened between him and Uhura. Jim was getting blown by a dude. A really hot dude, amazing ass. The conversation between them afterwards didn’t show that Spock was uncomfortable it. Spock said he was fine with it and it didn’t change anything between them. Why was it coming up now?

“Captain, you misunderstand.” Spock said. He stepped back, pulling away from Jim. Spock was disgusted with him. He didn’t even want to be near him. Jim felt an angry tug on his heart. He had thought Vulcans embraced all types of sexuality. Maybe a few who didn’t still remained.

“I don’t think I am, Mr. Spock.” Jim hissed. How the hell could Jim not have noticed? All this time and not once did he pick up on Spock’s homophobia. “Please explain to me how my sexuality is bothering you. It doesn’t even pertain to you!”

“I believe that is my problem, Captain.” Spock said, a dark green covering his cheeks.

Jim tilted his head to the side, confusion getting the best of him. That was his problem? That it didn’t pertain to him? Jim’s eyes widened a fraction as he realized what Spock had meant. Spock seemed to take that as a bad reaction because his head ducked lower, even his ears turning a green. When Spock couldn’t control his blushing tendencies, it meant that he was beyond ashamed and embarrassed.

“Are you serious?” Jim asked, his mind still trying to piece everything together. Spock liked him? Or at least, was attracted to him? It was almost weird to consider that. Weird but… nice? Jim didn’t know how to describe it and it certainly was going to take some time to figure out what he was feeling.

“That is why I am resigning, Captain.”

“Spock, I told you to call me-”

“I don’t believe I can do that, Captain.” Spock whispered, his voice quieted from the shame he felt. Jim wanted to do something to stop his shame, to make Spock realize that it was okay and he didn’t mind but… Jim didn’t know if he didn’t mind. He didn’t know anything. He… He just didn’t know. Spock sighed and straightened himself, saluting Jim properly while the blush faded from his face. “Permission to resign, sir?”

“Spock… I…”

“Permission to resign, sir?” Spock repeated, his eyes not meeting Jims.

Jim clenched his fists at his side. “Permission….” Jim sighed deeply, squeezing his eyes tightly. “Permission granted.”

Spock stepped around Jim, stopping beside him. “Thank you, sir.”

He wanted to grab Spock and throw him against the wall. Yell at him and scream and make him realize that he didn’t have to resign. Jim wanted to punch himself, violently and painfully, because why hadn’t he seen it earlier. Jim wanted a lot of things but the only words that fell from his mouth probably made everything worse.

“Don’t mention it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 03/01/15 - edited


	2. I Don't Think I Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now who doesn't love some good Kirk and Bones bonding! <3 those two will be the death of me! Enjoy lovelies!

Kirk’s lips touched the bottle of bourbon, taking a long burning sip.

_Emotionally compromised._

Spock was emotionally compromised. Not because of Uhura, not because of someone insulting him or his family, but because of Kirk. Spock was emotionally compromised because he was attracted to the Captain. Another brutal gulp of bourbon made Kirk shake his head. Kirk wanted to get up and find Spock. He knew that Spock was hiding somewhere on the ship but last time he attempted to find Spock, he failed. Kirk had asked the ship computer where Spock was but when Kirk got to the med-bay, Spock was gone. If Spock didn’t want to be found by Kirk, he wouldn’t be found.

So Kirk curled into his couch, sipping on the bourbon. It was a few days after Spock had resigned from his post and Kirk still couldn’t believe it. They had to wait until another Starfleet ship came to rescue Spock from this embarrassing trap. Kirk wanted to try and figure out a way to find Spock before the ship came. But even if he could, he wouldn’t know what to say. He spent his nights drinking and thinking about what to say. Hell, he even thought about it on the bridge while Sulu was acted as the First Officer. Kirk would give anything to have Spock back on the bridge, just to be able to playfully banter with him again. Their banter on the bridge always made everybody smile. Well, everybody but Uhura, she thought it was so immature.

He flinched at the thought of what would happen when Uhura found out. Kirk ordered the crew not to inform Uhura about Spock’s resignation. When she came back from shore leave, he’d rather tell her himself. He’d rather face the disappointment and fury in Uhura’s eyes than letting anybody else see it. Kirk was half prepared for Uhura to punch him. To be honest, he wouldn’t blame her.

The rest of the crew’s knowledge was non existent, at best. Everybody of course knew that Spock had resigned but the reasoning was unknown. He couldn’t very well tell the crew what happened so he let them stew in their own speculations. Perhaps that was worse.

“Jim, what are you doing?” Bones asked as he walked into the Captain Quarters. Kirk turned his head to glare at the annoyed face. Scotty and Chekov had tried recently to pry him from his room. A stain of alcohol and broken glass by the door were the results. They must of sent Bones now to reason with him. At least Sulu wasn’t bothering him. Although, that might be because he enjoyed the Captain’s Chair.

Bones’ shoes crunched on the glass by the door. He looked down and sighed. “You need to clean that up.”

“I don’t need to do anything.” Kirk snapped in deviance. That was a lie, of course. Kirk needed to get Spock back. Back as his First Officer. Back as his friend. Back in his arms. Squeezing his eyes tightly from the thought, he sucked down a mouth full from the bottle. He was almost out of his stash of booze. Maybe Bones had some… he probably had some.

“The Starfleet ship is here to take Spock.” Bones informed him. Kirk paused, tilting the bottle away from his mouth and stared coolly at Bones. He knew, obviously, that Kirk’s emotional state was because something happened between Kirk and Spock. It was just a relief that Bones didn’t know exactly what.

“Well good.” Kirk mumbled. “Spock’ll be happier off this ship.” A small voice in his head wondered if that was really true.

Kirk noticed that angry sigh that fell from Bones’ lips. Bones pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “You know that isn’t true, Jim. Now tell me what happened. I’m done being in the damn dark about this.”

“Emotionally compromised.” Kirk grumbled, he took the final gulps of liquid from the bottle before tossing it over the couch. The smash made Kirk feel better, if only slightly.

“What? Because of Uhura? She’s on shore leave.” Bones said, the confusion evident on his face. Even if Bones was trying to ignore the way Kirk threw the bottle, it was clear that he was concerned for Kirk’s well being.

A snort came from Kirk. “Because of me.”

Silence fell over the both of them. Kirk didn’t know if it was because Bones was trying to piece together why Kirk affected Spock or if Bones just didn’t know what to say. Either way, the silence bugged him. He got up from the couch to grab the last remaining bottle of bourbon he had. It was unfortunate that he didn’t have vodka. He would have enjoyed that a lot more than fucking bourbon. Bones walked away from the door to splay himself out on the couch beside Kirk’s initial spot.

“You, huh?” Bones said.

“Yeah.” Was the only word Kirk said as he fell back onto the couch. It was a slight comfort that Bones wasn’t pushing him for anymore. It would only be a matter of time, though, until Bones wanted more information. Kirk didn’t blame him. He’d want to know what was happening if he was in Bones’ position. One best friend leaving because of another, that was just awkwardness waiting to happen. Kirk didn’t buy that shit Bones spouted about not liking Spock. Spock was one of his closest friends. Granted, Bones didn’t come along friends often.

Bones sighed and grabbed the bottle from Kirk, taking his own mouthful of the foul stuff.

“You say something stupid?” Bones asked.

Kirk shook his head. “I am something stupid.”

Another silence came over them, only the clinking of the bottle passed between them and slow sipping filling it. Kirk leaned his head back on the couch, covering his eyes. Spock was leaving because of him and he wasn’t able to stop it because he had no idea what to do. Kirk didn’t deny that he thought Spock was attractive, hell he thought it on many occasions. But Spock was a Vulcan. He expected a lot more from romantic relationships than Kirk could ever give. Too much baggage. Too much commitment issues. Kirk wasn’t good for Spock. Maybe a little time away would be enough to make Spock realize that. It didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt.

“I thought he wasn’t homophobic.” Bones stated. It wasn’t really a question. He knew that Kirk was done with answering questions today.

“He isn’t. I guess he’s bisexual too. Or pansexual. Fuck if I know.” Kirk bit his lip to keep tears from falling from his eyes. He hadn’t cried in years and like hell if  he was going to start now. Who gave a fuck if Spock was leaving him. People left Kirk all the time, it wasn’t anything new.

Bones’ hand stilled on the bottle. “Shit.”

“Shit indeed.” Kirk agreed.

A shaking sigh left Kirk’s lips. Tears were already beginning to fill his eyes. He tried his hardest to will them away but the tears persisted. The unsteady feeling in his gut was increasing and began to feel himself worry. What would he do after Spock? His entire life aboard the Enterprise, Spock had been with him. Of course initially, the relationship the two had was hatred, it changed into an awkward friendship. After Khan, they became solid partners and the closest friends. Without Spock, Kirk was going to be lost. Sulu was a great helmsman but it would be impossible for him to amount to Spock. Kirk rubbed his face, wiping the tears away.

“You’ll figure it out, Kirk.” Bones said, his hand gripping his best friends shoulder as a form of comfort.

“I really don’t think I will.”

A few more hours passed between them. Bones drank with him and wallowed in his sorrows, knowing that if he pushed Kirk anymore there would be more broken glass on the ground. Kirk had his arms curled around his body when Sulu commn’d Kirk to let him know that Spock was off the Enterprise. Despite his best efforts, Kirk’s eyes filled with water. If he had the bottle in his hands he would have thrown it across the room. Bones grabbed Kirk’s arm almost immediately after Sulu announced Spock’s departure. A quick pull allowed Bones to wrap Kirk in his arms. They didn’t hug often so Kirk always treasured it when he could. But he couldn’t help but think how much better he’d feel if he was in Spock’s arms instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Heyo, I have a tumblr tooooooo!](http://ericareyeslives.co.vu/)


	3. If Only That Was Possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spock POV  
> This fic will be change POV from characters, so hope you guys will enjoy that because its the only way to tell the story properly.

Spock glared at the chocolate bar wrappers sitting on top of his small bed side table. One who knew the effect of Chocolate on Vulcans might say that he was sufficiently inebriated. If Kirk saw him like this, he would inform him that he was a ‘light weight’.

The thought of his captain, of his former captain, surged a violent emotion within him. Violent, yes, but not aggressive towards Kirk. No, only towards himself for not keeping his emotions under control. Had Spock kept himself under control than he would have been able to stay in Kirk’s adequate company. More than adequate, Spock would say. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say phenomenal. Refusing any longer to linger his gaze on the chocolate bar, Spock attempted to push himself off of the seat he was in. It had been eleven point twenty three days since Spock informed his captain of his emotional compromise. Eleven point twenty three days since Spock felt his heart ripped in two. Of course, that was illogical. His heart being ripped into would result in death. Though, recent events had caused Spock to be quite fond of the earthling saying. Instead of heading back to starfleet headquarters to be reassigned to a ship, Spock request a period of leave to stay on New Vulcan.

New Vulcan was disturbingly similar to the original. The temperature and humidity was ninety six point four two percent akin to Vulcan. And while the emotional loss of ones planet as well as ones people would never be able to be fully repaired, having a planet similar to their original helped with the emotional loss. Though, Spock could not gaze at the stars as he used to when he was troubled with his perplexing emotions - a dangerous balance between Vulcan and Human. Looking up at the sky would only confirm the fact that he was not on Vulcan and would cause him more pain than necessary.

His counterpart, who had become an Ambassador, was kind enough to host his younger self. On his arrival, he was informed that his father had yet to step on the soil of new Vulcan. Sarek claimed the fact that he still had a job to do as the ambassador to earth. Spock would venture that perhaps it was because of the emotional turmoil he felt from the loss of bondmate. While Spock also lost his bondmate, T’Pring helped other vulcans get of world instead, he knew T’Pring and his bond never amounted to the bond his parents shared. Human or not, Amanda made the bond between the two stronger than most.

Stumbling forward from his place of rest, he attempted to reach the door. He had to grip the door frame rather aggressively to keep himself from falling forward. Perhaps moving while inebriated was not the most logical course of action. The violent sound underneath his hand made him aware of his lack of physical restraint. It made his counterpart aware as well.

“Spock?” His older self asked as Spock leaned heavily on the door frame. There was now a dent where his hand was. He would have to fix it before he left New Vulcan… if he left New Vulcan. A look of concern crossed his older face. To anyone else, it would seem like no change occurred. Spock knew himself well enough.

“I am fine. Worry not.” Spock assured himself. His older self knew better than to advise him in the fact that fine had varying definitions. Both of them knew that fine adequately summed how he was, even if his older self had not been told yet about what occurred. For all he knew, Spock was taking long overdue shore leave. If only that was the case.

Not convinced in the slightest, his counterpart crossed his arms. Ambassador Spock embraced his human side more than Spock did, resulting in more human actions. Spock was able to restrain himself from glaring at his counterpart. He refused to tell his counterpart anything that happened between himself and his captain. While Spock could not be certain, he didn’t believe that attraction was the type of ‘great friendship’ the Ambassador meant. His counterpart stared heavily at him, almost trying to read his emotions. A curl of annoyance appeared on Spock’s lips as his counterpart tried to pick apart Spock.

He straightened himself, suddenly very aware of the way he was leaning against the door frame. Too human of him - Illogical. Spock pulled at his new clothing to straighten it. “I must inform starfleet on when I plan to return to earth. I shall be in the study.”

His counterpart didn’t remind him that he did that yesterday.

Satisfyingly, Spock took this lack of remembrance as an easy excuse to take his leave and lock himself in the study. He spent most of his time either in the study, in the spare bedroom, or walking outside. Unfortunately, locking himself in the study did not have the desired effect. While the study had multiple books and materials to read, Spock found himself thinking of his captain. His former captain. Spock had originally, once this thought process had started, tried to divert his thoughts on other things. No matter how hard he attempted to move his focus, everything led back to his former captain. He ascertained that it was impossible to keep his mind from thinking of him. After all, he had been so used to Kirk’s company that the sudden loss of him was something his mind would miss. Spock let himself continue his thoughts. He wondered how Kirk was, how was the new science officer operating in his stead. Who had the captain appointed in the vacant First Officer position. Mr. Sulu was likely in the new role. While Captain Kirk might had wanted to give the role to Doctor Mccoy, Mccoy would have most likely refused the role. Mr. Sulu was the second closet crew member to the Captain. It was a logical assumption. Spock hoped that he was adequate in all the aspects of the job. He surely would get emotionally compromised, judging on what Chekov and the helmsman got up to in their free time.

A slight pang in his chest made Spock’s hands shake. He clenched them into fists to steady them. Thinking of his former captain caused him pain as well as happiness. Perhaps that was what Chekov was attempting to explain to Spock when Sulu first asked Chekov on an date. A slight pain that, despite all odds, is pleasurable as well. He would only have to attempt to gain contact with Chekov again and interrogate him about this matter. Only, perhaps it would be best not to. Spock was unaware if Kirk wanted to this occurrence to be kept quiet. If that was the case, Spock would have to refer to Nyota’s expertise in matters of the heart. Nyota still enjoyed speaking with Spock, even though their relationship changed. He kept contact with her and she invited him to outings as much as she could. He liked to believe they were friends. Surely she would help him try to understand this peculiar feeling within him.

Spock’s mind twisted with unease at his thoughts. It was times like this when he would brew a pot of vulcan tea and commn his mother. She would always answer, a sweet smile on her face, and gently talk about how her day was going. Amanda would never press him for what had occurred. She would wait for Spock to announce himself what happened. Sometimes he wondered what she would say about his life. But of course he already knew what she would say.

Proud, Spock. You know I will always be proud of everything you do.

Spock got up from the chair he was sitting on to grab his PADD from the desk. He’d do some research on his most recent project to pass time. Spock was left alone for the most part. The Ambassador did knock at the study to give Spock a tray of fruit and vegetables, but didn’t bother him beside that. It was a blessing considering how his counterpart had been hovering over him as soon as arrived on New Vulcan. However, the silence he had did not last long.

A small, green bubble popped up in the corner of his PADD accompanied by a shrill ringing sounding. Nyota. This was bound to be a painful call. If Nyota knew about what had transpired between the captain and him… Spock shuddered at the thought.

Tapping his finger on the green button, he answered the call. Avoiding Nyota would only cause the situation to get worse, so by logic he had to answer. Nyota’s smiling face appeared on the screen. She looked absolutely ecstatic. Recently she had taken shore leave to explore a planet. The C-Class planet had an interesting language that made the human tongue twist circles around itself. Not only did the words depend upon the sounds someone made, but the length they held them as well. Nyota refused to accept that she could not master the language. She had probably found something interesting on the planet.

“Spock!” Nyota exclaimed. The way she spoke, seemed heavy, syllables being lengthened and spoken differently than she was used to. It was probably a result of her trying to change back to her native tongue. Being surrounded by one language and changing to another in a flash can take its toll, even for an expert communications officer. “Oh…. You aren’t on the enterprise? Why?” Spock drew a heavy breath, ready to reply when Nyota answered the question for herself… Incorrectly. “You finally got shore leave! That’s great, I thought you would never have time to visit New Vulcan.”

“I…” Spock said, his voice catching in his throat. He wasn’t sure if it was the most logical idea to inform her of what happened on the Enterprise. Perhaps it was best not to inform her at all. “The surface of New Vulcan is quite similar to the original Vulcan.” Not a lie. He just did not acknowledge the informations she inaccurately provided. Something he found to be a daily action when he was on Earth.

Nyota’s smile softened, an action that was disturbingly similar to his mother. “But not the same.”

Spock’s lips pursed. “Nyota, it is illogical to assume that this planet would be the same to Vulcan as it is a completely different planet and the parameters of it’s making were -”

“Okay, I get it. Illogical human thinking.” Nyota said, her hands waving him off as if he was some bug. She rolled her eyes, more from fondness than annoyance. “How is Ambassador Spock?”

“My older self seems to be adequate. He has opened his home to me generously. I am currently located in his study.” Spock explained.

“It looks pretty big. Give me a tour!” Nyota demanded. Her joyous smile made the pain in Spock’s heart hurt less.

“I believe that would be intelligent.”

Spock gave Nyota a tour around the study. Logically, a tour of the house followed. Had it not been dark outside, Spock would have given her a tour of the outside fauna. Though she may not have enjoyed it as much as Mr. Sulu would have, Spock knew she would have let him show her everything. After the tour, they talked deep into the night about the language Nyota was learning. Luckily the time’s of the planets were quite similar. Spock nodded and hummed at the appropriate moments. They parted ways when Nyota yawned from her exhaustion.

“When I get back on the enterprise, I expect to see you aboard too, Spock.” Nyota said before cutting of the communication.

Spock sighed, a human action that he had grown accustom to in the presence of his former captain. “If only that was possible, Nyota… If only that was possible.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment, kudos, and subscribe is greatly appreciated.


	4. Fire and Brimstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyota POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea, Yea, I'm a day early. Savor it while you can, guys, because these early and on time updates won't last for long. Anyways, This Chapter is Nyota's. Hope you enjoy her because she'll have a lot of chapters! Sorry for it being so short, her next chapter will be longer, I promise.

That conversation was the last one Spock and Nyota shared before Nyota’s shore leave finished up. Nyota knew that a first officers got significantly smaller shore leave than any other officers so he would be back on the Enterprise around the same time she would be. She was glad because it would be nice to see him again after all this time away from each other. Despite the fact that they broke up, they decided to stay friends. Or rather, Nyota decided that they would stay friends. She remembered that confused Vulcan look on his face when she was talking to him freely at one of the tables in the mess hall.

_“Forgive me, but I have done reading on the action of ‘breaking-up’ and it did not inform me that this is the proper protocol.”_

She almost laughed herself off of her seat when he said that. Which, of course, only caused more confusion to him at the time. Nyota explained to him after she finished laughing that it was fine and she wanted to be friends with him. They broke up because Spock was meant for someone else not because they had problems in their own relationships. Spock learned not to question who he was meant for because the only answer he got out of Nyota was _‘you’ll see’_. Nyota didn’t want to push Spock into realizing his feelings. Whenever she tried to do that when they were dating, it never went well. So she let him realize on his own that he loved Kirk. She just hoped he would realize it soon, the sexual tension on the bridge was almost too much.

When she was beamed up on the ship the first person she saw was Scotty. He was grinning at her, ecstatic for her to be back. Everybody on the Enterprise was shocked about how close she was with Scotty. Most people seemed to think that they either hated each other or that they were romantically involved. And while Scott wasn’t exactly the most sophisticated person aboard the Enterprise, he was a person who could offer you a shoulder to lean on as well as a good drinking buddy. Anybody who suspected the latter caused Uhura to laugh. It wasn’t that Scotty wasn’t a good looking man, in fact she had found herself attracted to him more than once, it was just Scotty was married to the Enterprise, and Nyota certainly was not ready to jump into another relationship after Spock. She at least wanted some down time to herself before she got into another relationship.

“Welcome back, Lass!” Scotty said, he held his arms open for Nyota to fall into. With a big smile, Nyota pushed herself into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed tightly.

“I wasn’t gone that long, Scotty.” Nyota laughed happily as they hugged. She was barely gone for two weeks.

Scotty let go of Nyota’s waist. His large smile was still stuck on his face. “You were gone long enough.”

She patted the side of Scotty’s face. She’s heard that before. She can only imagine how much everybody wanted her back. It didn’t matter if she chose the officer to cover her job personally- Lieutenant Palmer would never be able to do her job as well as she could. Spock was probably fed up with them, no wonder he took his short shore leave on New Vulcan.

“Where’s Spock? He said he would be back on the Enterprise when I was back.” Nyota asked. Scotty’s smile dropped as she asked and Nyota knew something was wrong. Nyota narrowed her eyes. “Scotty? What happened?”

Scotty shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Uh.. I… You might want to go see the Captain.”

Nyota crossed her arms. “Scotty. I think I’d rather hear it from you.”

His eyes flicked to the side to avoid Nyota’s gaze. “Oh, I don’t think thats a good idea, Uhura. I don’t want the Captain to rain down his wrath on me.”

With a quick raise of her eyebrow, one expertly copied from Spock, and a cock of her hip, Uhura threatened Scotty. “You think that whatever the Captain can rain down on you is more than what I can.” Scotty gulped and backed up a step. “Because I can assure you, my fire and brimstone rains harder.

A quick scottish mumble slipped from Scotty’s mouth, too fast for her to follow. Nyota only had to press her lips together and give Scotty a look to make him repeat himself slower.

“Mr. Spock resigned.”

Nyota’s crossed arms dropped to her side. “Excuse me!” She yelled. “And Kirk let him?”

Scotty opened his mouth to reply but Nyota was already storming out from the transporter room. Resigned? That didn’t make sense. Spock would never resign from his post. He loved being in Starfleet and he loved even more to be Kirk’s first officer. Everybody knew that Spock would rather die in action with Kirk than be stuck on New Vulcan for the rest of his life. Why the hell didn’t Kirk stop Spock? Kirk should have stopped Spock. If Kirk had asked him to stay than he would have.

_Kirk was a dead man walking._

Other crew members walking down the halls of the Enterprise raised their hands to say hello as she passed but quickly scurried away when they saw how angry she was. She hadn’t been this angry since… since Spock was in that volcano. Even then she hadn’t been ready to rip him to shreds. Kirk had really fucked up this time. Why the hell would Kirk let Spock go freely? Even he had admitted to their partnership being for the better. _Spock and I need each other like humans need air_ he had said drunkenly at the anniversary of his fathers death. Did Kirk go mentally insane for a second and accept Spock’s resignation? Because that seemed like the only way it was possible for Spock to have resigned.

Filled with fury, Nyota stepped on the bridge and snapped over to the Captain’s chair. She stood in front of him, arms crossed, with a furious glare on her face. She almost wanted to reach out and slap him. _Almost._ She knew if she did, though, she would be suspended for insubordination. Spock would be angry at her that she risked her job for his dignity. Nyota dug her nails roughly into her arms to keep herself still.

Kirk’s face turned white. “Uhura, I-”

“Captain.” Nyota snipped. She couldn’t yell at him on the bridge either. “I understand Spock had resigned from his post.”

“I thought I asked…” Kirk looked at Nyota and sighed. “Yes, Spock resigned.”

“May I speak with you? In private, Captain.” It took everything Nyota had in her not to snarl those words out. How dare he accept Spock’s resignation without a fight. How dare he let Spock leave the Enterprise when both of the knew his place was on the ship. On the ship and with Kirk.

“Sulu, you have the conn.” Kirk said before he pushed himself off the chair. Kirk motioned for Nyota to lead the way so she twisted her body to the elevator. He followed her to the elevator, standing beside her as the door closed. Nyota’s hand slammed on the stop button of the elevator before she turned to face Kirk.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” Nyota screamed. She knew for a fact that Kirk wouldn’t do anything while they were alone about her yelling. She had every right to yell at him and he knew it.

Kirk winced at Nyota’s scream. “Uhura, I don’t think-”

Nyota let out a dry laugh. “What, you don’t think I understand?”

“He wanted to resign!” Kirk yelled, his anger taking a hold of him. “He said he was emotionally compromised.”

“You should have made him stay!” Nyota yelled right back. Spock would have stayed for Kirk if he asked. Kirk should have found who had compromised Spock and kicked their ass to the curb. “You could have made him stay! You know very fucking well that you could have kicked that person who emotionally compromised him off the ship!”

Kirk dropped his head in his hands, squeezing tightly before looking back up at her. “Nyota, you don’t-”

Nyota wanted to punch him. Her hand curled into a fist but she kept it by her side. Alone or not, she couldn’t touch the Captain. Even if he deserved it. “Don’t you fucking dare call me Nyota, Kirk. Only friends call me that.”

“It was me, okay!” Kirk exclaimed. “I was the one who emotionally compromised him.”

Nyota’s eyes widened as she listened to Kirk’s voice. It almost broke as he admitted to being the cause of Spock’s resignation. Before Nyota was able to reply to Kirk’s confession, a loud beep sounded through the elevator.

“ _Captain_?” Sulu said through the Commn. “ _Admiral Archer is waiting for you on the line. He has something to tell you._ ”

Nyota pressed the button behind her again to start the elevator. All her anger had dissipated, only leaving shock and disbelief. Kirk was the reason why Spock was emotionally compromised. That meant… Had Spock finally realized why Nyota broke up with him in the first place? But then Kirk had rejected Spock. Which didn’t make any sense.

“I’ll take it in my quarters, Sulu.” Kirk responded.

The elevator beeped to let them know they were stopped at the floor of the crew’s quarters. Kirk pushed out of the elevator, ignoring Nyota’s attempt to stop him.

She had to talk to him about this.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter (which will be updated on or around January 31) will be from Kirk's point of view. 
> 
> As always, each comment, kudos, and subscribe is appreciated! Comments keep me going, so comment as much as you like, lovelies, I try to reply to every single one.


	5. Alone Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!

 

Kirk ducked out of the elevator as fast as he could. He almost wanted to scream out from relief when Sulu commn’d into the elevator. The tension in the small space was growing and he couldn’t handle the amount of anger Uhura was directing towards him. Admiral Archer couldn’t have had better timing.

That said, Admiral Archer didn’t often call the Enterprise, much less Jim personally. Something big had to be going on for Archer to call Kirk. Not that Kirk wanted to jump directly into the worst case scenario but, around him, it seemed like it always went that way. Kirk pushed his way through the crew members socializing. All he needed was a bottle of bourbon. If Bones hadn’t hid them all, he might still have one under his mattress.

He slammed his hand against the door to his quarters. The faster he finished this call with Admiral Archer, the faster he could drink himself to sleep. Kirk dropped himself over to his desk, turning on his computer before answering the waiting call.

“Captain Kirk!” The Admiral grinned. Kirk smiled back at the Admiral. Since Admiral Pike’s death, Archer took on all the responsibility he had. Which included babysitting Kirk. They had gotten close but not as close as Kirk was to Pike. No one could amount to how close Kirk was to Pike.

“Admiral. What mess of yours do I have to clean up now?” Kirk joked.

The Admiral lent back his head and laughed. “Does it have to be my mess?”

“No… But I think we know each other too well to be lying to each other by now.” Kirk replied with his normal snark.

 

_Thomas Leighton rolled his eyes at Kirk, “Kirk, we’ve known each other too long to be lying to each other.” Kirk looked over his shoulder and glared. Thrown in a cell together and now they know each other. That guy had more gall that anyone Kirk’s ever seen. Kirk knew he shouldn't have tried to steal food from the palace. He should have kept a low profile, stealing only from the people who didn’t have a lot of guards… But they never had a lot of food and with Kevin depending on him now…._

 

Archer laughed even harder. Kirk smiled at him. It was nice to have someone talk to him like he wasn’t a broken dog. Just because Spock had resigned, didn’t mean he was going to let himself go. Well… He might have been drinking more… A lot more. But that didn’t really matter. Archer finished laughing, leaning back in his officer chair. Jim could see the small figurine that Admiral Pike had given him before he died. It was a small Enterprise toy they sell to little children. A joke gift that turned sentimental after the attack. Archer smiled at Kirk.

“So, how is your new First Officer. Hikaru Sulu, right?” Archer asked politely. Kirk tried not to narrow his eyes. He knew exactly what he was doing. Archer didn’t really care about Kirk’s new first officer, he cared about his previous one. The question wasn’t about Sulu, but about how Kirk was coping without Spock. Which if he was honest… might not be that well

“Sulu is adjusting to his new job quite nicely, Sir.” Kirk replied.

The Admiral raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t question any further, only reaching for a new topic. “I don’t know how many times I’ve told you to call me Archer, Kirk.”

_“Leighton, I don’t trust this guy.” Kirk said as they looked at the kid in front of them. Kevin’s hands were clutching onto Kirk’s arm for dear life. He never did like being out in the open. Too dangerous for him. The kid, who looked a bit younger than Thomas, looked up. Howard Bilna, he called himself. Not that Kirk trusted him. Oh no, he had that tattoo on his wrist that said he was from the detention center. Young trouble makers. Not that Kirk was that different… but at least he kept himself out of the detention center - they only sent the really bad ones there._

_Leighton rolled his eyes beside Kirk, an action which seemed to be quite common around Kirk. “I told you to call me Thomas, Jim. Besides, I think this kid is an alright guy. We should let him come along with us.”_

“I’ll call you Admiral but thats as unprofessional as I get.” Kirk joked around. It was always like this when Archer called. They would dance and dance around the subject for hours. Before… Before Pike’s death, Archer was straight to the point. He would dive right into the scenarios instead of beating around the bush. Kirk thought it was because Archer was afraid to send the people he held close to him on dangerous missions. Not that Archer would ever admit it if Kirk asked. This call, though, seemed a little bit different.

As they talked more and more about different things - how Archer’s dog was still missing (thanks Scotty), about the Enterprise and it’s crew - Archer became more and more awkward. Kirk deduced it was because Archer knew he had to tell Kirk the real reason he had called. Archer was an admiral and he had places to be, so he couldn’t beat around the bush forever. Kirk would just have to wait him out.

And waited him out was exactly what Kirk did. Around ten minutes into their conversation, Archer cleared his throat and sat up straighter in his chair. A tell tale sign of his that he was finally ready to tell Kirk why he had called.

_Kevin cleared his throat. “I think we should keep her.”_

_Thomas laughed. “Kevin, we don’t just keep people. She’s hurt, we’re going to take care of her until she’s better.” Kevin pouted as he looked at Opal who was resting on the makeshift bed they made in their abandoned shack. A guard had her. Kirk had heard the screaming and knocked the guard out to save her. She was a little shaken up by the guard, her clothes were ripped apart. Kirk would find her more things in the morning. “We’ll ask if she wants to stay when she wakes up.”_

_“I don’t know, Doc.” Howard said, “I think shrimp is right. We should keep her. If anything, her screams would be a good warning system.”_

“I didn’t call just for personal reasons, Kirk.” Archer stated. Kirk didn’t roll his eyes, surprisingly, but he did scoff.

“You say that like I didn’t know.”

Archer sighed and shook his head. That wasn’t good. Whenever Archer didn’t laugh at Kirk’s jokes, it meant that this was something serious. Kirk straightened himself in his chair. “Kirk… I… I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to rip it off like a band-aid.”

Kirk swallowed his nerves. “That would probably be best, Admiral.”

“Kodos is alive.”

_Kevin was shaking, his face flushed red with tears. “He’s evil.”_

_The girl nodded her head. “He is. But the more people who see him, the more people can make sure he dies for what he’s doing. So we gotta look at him. Look and never forget, Kevin.”_

_“How did you even figure out that he’d be here?” Kirk asked. Thomas, Opal, Howard and Riley were all too focused on Governor Kodos, the murderer, to even notice that the girl might be dangerous. He’s heard about the governor using kids to lure people to their deaths. This girl might seem nice but she knew exactly where Kodos would be and the exact time. That was too lucky for Kirk to accept._

_“I am in the 50% that was approved by Kodos. But my parents rebelled and tried to fight back. He had my parents killed and declared me fit. That doesn’t mean shit, though. Just because I’m part of the 50% doesn’t mean I’m not going to fight for the people he’s killing. I’m Lucy… Can I know your name?”_

 

In a moment, it felt like Kirk was swallowed. Alive…. no. Kirk had seen the burnt bones. He had seen the man in ashes. He was dead. He wasn’t… He wasn’t allowed to be alive. Not after what he did to… No.

“Kirk… Kirk… Jim. You alright, son?” Archer asked. He looked like he was guilty, like he felt responsible for causing Kirk this pain, this panic, he was feeling. It wasn’t Archer’s fault though. It was Kodos. The one who murdered half of Tarsus. Kirk wanted to puke. He couldn't handle this right now. Not without someone to help him… Not without Spock.

“Why are you telling me this?” Kirk asked. It was a reasonable question. Archer didn’t need a emotional compromised Captain on his hand, much less the Captain of Starfleet's flagship. He could have easily kept it a secret from Kirk and he would have never known.

“It’s…” Archer sighed, rubbing his temples. “There’s been a complication. Your old friend, Thomas Leighton… He identified him and they were taking him back to Starfleet headquarters to stand trial when... “

Kirk curled his fists, clutching them so tightly that his knuckles began to turn white. No. That…. He hadn’t spoken to Thomas in weeks. With Spock leaving and Thomas’ new research, they were both so busy. He couldn’t be…. he just couldn’t be dead.

“The vessel was boarded by pirates… they killed the entire crew. I’m sorry, Jim.”

_“I’m not leaving.” Kilantra snipped, crossing her arms and sitting down. The five of them turned around, eyes wide from shock._

_“Look here, you shit.” Lucy snarled. Thomas grabbed her to keep her from attacking the girl they just saved. Lucy had grown too attached to her friends marked for death to allow one stupid girl to get in the way. The alarms were already ringing, they had to get out of the Palace before the guards found them._

_“You won’t leave your friends, I’m not leaving mine. Alexia and Tim are in this palace. We have to find them before we leave or you’re leaving without me. And I’m not afraid to trade information to save my friends lives.”_

_Kirk admired Kilantra’s bravery but that didn’t mean he liked her._

 

He shook his head. No. This… He couldn’t handle this. He couldn’t. Jim’s hands shook as he breathed in and shut his eyes. “I want Kevin Riley on the Enterprise as soon as possible. I don’t care where he’s stationed.”

Archer nodded sympathetically. “We pulled the lieutenant from duty on Ghandi as soon as we received message of the pirates taking over Kodos’ transport. He’s waiting on New Vulcan for pick up. Kodos won’t even be able to touch him on New Vulcan.”

“The other survivors, are they safe?” Kirk asked. Alexia, Tim, Kilantra, Howard, Opal, Lucy. They had to be alive. Everybody has been so busy lately they haven’t had a chance to meet up. Opal had her new family. Alexia, Tim, and Kilantra were working in Starfleet. Howard was supposed to be on probation already. Lucy was off on a top secret whatever she liked to call them.

The Admiral sucked in his lips. “Mrs. Urken was reported missing by her family three weeks ago. Lieutenant Crys, Ivo, and Euan have all been reported missing in actions while on starfleet missions. Mr. Bilna probation officer cannot find him and his tracker has been taken out from him. Nobody has any idea where Ms. Tals is. We believe that they may be dead.”

If only Kirk had made everybody pause, if only he had made everybody sit down and have their yearly get together… Maybe they wouldn’t be dead. Maybe Kirk could have saved them. He fought the urge to throw the nearest object to him. He wanted to scream. Kodos wasn’t supposed to be alive. Kirk was told he was dead. He was supposed to be dead. The Starfleet officers told him he was dead. They promised him. Trust the officers to lie to a fourteen year old with fire in his eyes.

Kirk sighed. “What did you want me to do, Admiral? Track him down?”

He shook his head quickly. “No. No, we want the exact opposite of that, Kirk. We want you as far away from where we tracked him to as possible. Once you get to New Vulcan to pick up Lieutenant Riley, head over to sector triquada. I thought it would be better to hear of Leighton’s death from me than from anyone else.”

“Thank you, Admiral.” Kirk whispered. “Is that all?”

Archer nodded his head. “Stay safe, Kirk.”

He shut off the communication without saying goodbye.

Kodos was alive. Alive and had killed almost every other survivor that saw him. Kirk was going to have to break into his top secret stash to deal with this event.

_“How are we going to get out of here!” Opal yelped. Kirk stayed seated in the farthest corner of the room from the rest of them. He should have known taking a group as large as theirs into the palace was dangerous. He should have made the others stayed behind but they needed more arms to carry the food. Now they were all locked up and waiting to be killed. Lucy lost her status and was dropped down to the weak 50%._

_Lucy rolled her eyes, “Oh shut up, Opal, you know that the second we try anything we’ll be shot just like that stupid girl Iris was.”_

_“Lucy, stop that.” Howard growled. “We can’t fight among ourselves.”_

_Every single one of them was terrified. Lucy was trying to pretend she was strong and she wasn’t scared but Kirk knew different. She was never in real danger. She could walk around just fine in the daylight but now that she lost her status, she lost everything. No amount of begging to Kodos could bring her status back. Thomas pushed away from where he was, trying to calm Kevin down enough. Kilantra swooped in almost immediately and scooped the small boy into her arms. Kevin clung to her like she would keep him safe. Kevin could hope, but without a plan, all of them were dead._

_Thomas walked by Alexia and Tim who had their arms wrapped around each other in an attempt to keep warm. He dropped himself by Kirk. “I have a plan. But it’s going to be dangerous.”_

_“Can’t be more dangerous that staying here.” Kirk said._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love a little Tarsus iv! We may or may not have some more flashbacks with these OC's later on in the story. Next chapter is going to be from Mccoy's POV probably and it will be posted around February 15! 
> 
> All comments, kudos, subscribes, and bookmarks are appreciated, I love you all very much!


	6. Time To Do Something Stupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for such a long wait, god, I feel like a terrible person for making you guys wait this long. But alas, it is here. <3 next chapter is going to be Spock, so I hope you're excited for more of him!

Leonard knew as soon as Uhura stepped into his office, that it was Jim. She looked worried, spouting something about Admiral Archer contacting Jim. Leonard had been through this enough times to realize that when Admiral Archer called Jim, shit was going to go down. Usually, Spock was here to help Leonard deal with whatever effects the conversation had on Jim. Without Spock here, it might be a little more difficult to deal with him. So after informing Nurse Chapel and M’benga that he was leaving early, Leonard went straight to Jim’s quarters.

That kid had been through enough recently without Archer coming in and mucking things up. Why, he ought to…. Leonard sighed and ran one hand through his hair as he punched in his code to Jim’s quarters with his other hand. Sometimes he wanted to strangle that Admiral. He expected too much of Jim, never saw the consequences it had on Jim. All the things expected of a Captain of Starfleet’s flagship was magnified because the things Jim had accomplished. It seemed like they forgot that Jim was still trying to figure out his life, much less how to Captain a Starship.

“Jim?” Leonard said as he walked into his quarters. The room was dimly lit, and while Leonard wanted to order the computer to turn up the lights, he wasn’t sure if Jim was already sleeping. As he entered, he noticed a few bottles with only remaining drops of the liquid that previously filled them. He sighed from annoyance. Leonard thought he dumped out Jim’s alcohol; he must not have been as thorough as he thought he was. Groaning sounded from Jim’s bed, causing Leonard to walk towards it. He shook his head as he saw Jim curled in the bed, drunk off his ass. Another groan left Jim’s lips as he reached out to grab Leonard’s hand. “Damnit Jim.” Leonard grumbled.

“Why does my life suck, Bones?” He slurred out. His hand weakly grabbed at Leonard, a pout strong on his lips. He got pathetic whenever he drank; Leonard was used to it by now. After shaking out of Jim’s grasp, which wasn’t that difficult, Leonard turned to the bathroom to grab Jim some much needed water. He worked Alpha shift tomorrow, if Leonard let Jim fall asleep without drinking water, he would be a bitch to deal with in the morning. The empty glass was still sitting out from when Leonard last gave him some, which was annoyingly recent. He filled the glass from the tap before walking back to where Jim was laying. He was already trying to curl into sleep despite the fact that his only stomach contents consisted of alcohol. Leonard almost wanted to be furious with Spock for leaving Jim, but after what Jim told him, he understood why Spock left. It hurt to know someone you loved didn’t feel the same way. Leonard shook Jim awake enough for him to swallow the pills. Jim pulled himself up, taking the glass of water from Leonard’s hand. He swallowed the contents of the glass quickly.

“You’re a good friend.” Jim garbled. Leonard nodded and took the empty water glass from Jim’s hand and placed it on his side table. “I wasn’t a very good friend to Spock. I let him leave without saying good bye.”

Leonard shook his head. “Now don’t go blaming yourself, kid. You ain’t at fault here.” Spock ain’t either, he wanted to say, but Jim was already fading off. He was never one to stay awake while drunk. Once you laid a drunk Jim down, he was down.

He watched Jim a few minutes longer to ensure that he was completely asleep.  Jim was going to need as much sleep as possible if he was going to make it through the day tomorrow. Leonard pulled the blankets over his best friend before walking out of his room. Looking at his watch, he sighed. Admiral Archer would still be awake, considering what time it would be on earth. _Time to do something stupid._

There must have been alcoholic fumes or something in Jim’s quarters, because if Leonard was actually going to do what he was planning to, he had to be crazy or drunk. Storming to his own quarters not far away, Leonard only thought that ran through his head was just do it. The faster it was done, the faster he would be kicked out of Starfleet for what he said, and the faster Leonard would be able to move on with his damn life. He grumbled all his way into his room and as he locked the doors. Before he could back down from his decision, he sat down at his desk and sent a call to the Admiral.

The Admiral must have already been at his computer because he answered only after a few rings. His eyes narrowed as he saw Leonard on the screen. Leonard would have bet ten credits that he looked like a grumbling worried mess; he felt like he was anyways. The Admiral opened his mouth to speak, but Leonard beat him to it.

“What fucking mission did you toss on Jim’s lap now?” A harsh eyebrow raise shocked Leonard into remembering that it was an Admiral he was speaking to. Worried or not, he had to show him respect. “Admiral, sir.” He clipped.

Archer rolled his eyes. “You know, I don’t only call him to give him missions.”

Leonard almost, almost, rolled his eyes back at him. _Bullshit_ , he wanted to say, _bullshit and you know it_. Instead he straightened his back and tried not to tear his hair out. “With all due respect, _Admiral_.” Leonard snipped coolly. “Other people may be fine and dandy with believing that, but it sure ain’t going to cut with me. Now, you either tell me now or Jim will tell me when he wakes up from his alcohol induced sleep.”

He must not have looked like he was kidding because Archer dropped his head. He sighed, shaking his head very slightly. To think that Leonard could be on the phone with his daughter right now; but nope. He was digging information out from an Admiral. He might as well have been pulling teeth.

No… No, pulling teeth might have been more fun.

Thankfully, the Admiral didn’t protest any longer. He knew that either way Leonard was going to find out about this. It was only a matter of when and who he found it out from. After grumbling quietly to himself, Archer looked up to Leonard and gave him a regretful look.

“Kodos is alive.” Archer said, ripping it off like a bandaid. Leonard’s eyes widened a fraction and his hands twisted together. He stared at the Admiral, as if he was waiting for him to tell him _ha ha jokes on you_ but Archer stayed silent.

“And… and you thought it was a good idea to tell him this? When his second officer and friend resigned?” Leonard stuttered out. For a moment, he couldn’t actually believe this man was an Admiral. Admirals were supposed to be better than this, they were supposed to be more aware of the captains they commanded. And Leonard was suddenly reminded that Archer was only promoted because so many others died thanks to Khan. No wonder he was fumbling with the responsibility. That was no excuse though.

Archer closed his eyes and breathed deeply, “While I realize that might have been a mistake-”

“A mistake? No, no, a mistake would be leaving the replicator on or forgetting you had dinner with a friend. This was the worst idea since bringing Khan back to life, you degenerate moron!” Leonard snapped.

“You could get discharged from Starfleet for that, Doctor Mccoy, no matter how great a doctor you are.” The Admiral warned angrily.

“See if I give a flying shit.” Leonard snarled before slamming his hand on the computer keyboard to end the call.

 _Fuck_. Leonard ran his hand through his hair. _Fuck_. He was going to have to apologize later otherwise he’d get kicked out. Kicked out from the only job he’s known for seven years and all because of a stupid man named James Tiberius Kirk. A groan left his mouth as he got up to go grab a bottle of bourbon he had… Until he remembered that Jim had stolen that and Leonard ended up dumping out the rest of his stash just in case.

A flurry of swears escaped Leonard’s mouth. _Stupid kid_ , he thought, _mucking up his life_. If it wasn’t for Jim, Leonard would have had his feet firmly planted on the ground, most likely quitting Starfleet the first semester. And if Leonard didn’t quit Starfleet… Well, he would be dead.

As much as Leonard liked to complain about Jim like he was some big burden to carry, he knew that Jim was half the reason why he wasn’t dead. If he hadn’t turned into a drunk after his divorce than Nero would have killed him. Leonard sighed and sat back down into his desk chair. That kid saved his life in more ways than one, no matter how much he would protest if anyone said it. He owed Jim his life.

A sigh fell from Leonard. He at least owed Jim this.

“Computer contact Spock.” Leonard grumbled before he could back out of the idea. It seemed like his stupid ideas were increasing today. He was going to blame it on Jim.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment, kudos, bookmark, and subscribe is appreciated, darlings!
> 
> DISCLAIMER- As a darling person has commented, taking advil after alcohol is bad. So don't do that. Bad bad bad. I took that part out but still, if some of you guys read that. DON'T DO IT.


	7. Live Long and Prosper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a bunch of homework I was supposed to do and then I had to finish this chapter and guess what I did.  
> I wrote something else. >.

  
  


The fire crackled beside Spock as he read a new article on time travel through blackholes. Since the entire fiasco with Nero, there was a steady increase of scientific articles about time travel. Every time an article insinuated the universe would collapse if the same people from different time universes were to meet, Spock wanted to roll his eyes. He was currently occupying the house of his counterpart and the universe had yet to implode. Just as Spock was about to exit the article, his screen changed to be faced with a pending call from Doctor Mccoy. It was only a matter of time before he received a call from the Doctor. Leonard was fiercely protective of the Captain. No doubt the doctor was calling about Spock leaving the Captain without a second in command.

Sighing as he straightened himself in the chair, Spock answered the call. Like Nyota, if he did not answer the Doctor, Mccoy would have only called more and become an annoyance to Spock.

Doctor Mccoy’s anxious and rather ‘grumpy’, as Nyota would put it, face appeared on the screen of his PADD. “Afternoon, Doctor.” Spock greeted calmly.

Ignoring Spock’s greeting, Mccoy growled out, “Spock, you need to come back right away.”

For a single moment, Spock felt his body tense with worry. _Was something wrong with the Captain_ , he found himself wondering fretfully. Spock quickly realized, however, that Mccoy was only overreacting, the Captain was most likely fine. “I am positive you are incorrect, Doctor. The Enterprise is most likely operating adequately without my aid.”

“Spock, you idiot! It’s not the ship that isn’t functioning right, it’s Jim!” Mccoy snapped angrily. Spock watched him coolly, not responding to the information. He learnt best with the Doctor that if you showed one simple sliver of emotion, he would pounce on it like a cat. The Doctor sighed angrily before running his hand over his face. Spock could obviously see that Mccoy was stressed, but if something truly wasn’t right with Jim, Mccoy would have filled a report to Starfleet; Spock would have certainly heard if the famous Jim Kirk resigned. “I’m serious, Spock. I’m just a doctor but even I can see that Jim can’t last three seconds without you, let alone an entire week.”

“As there is no evidence to support that fact, I will conclude it to be only be an assumption based from worry.” Spock said. His hand moved to the edge of his PADD, ready to finish the communication. He had work to do and spending time talking with Mccoy about past actions was pointless. “Now if you would excuse me, Doctor-”

“Spock, Jim needs you!” Mccoy snapped angrily, “And don’t you dare tell me that you don’t need him, dammit.”

Blinking slowly, Spock stared at the screen of his PADD. Careful not to reveal his true feelings about the matter, Spock spoke with calculated words. “Jim does not- and has never needed me. Goodbye Doctor.”

“Dammit, man, don’t you hang up on-” Pressing the red button, Spock ended the call before Mccoy could finish his sentence. He knew that Mccoy would continue calling him, so Spock turned off his PADD and pushed himself off of the chair he was on.

He had planned on researching information for his newest project all day, but he could not do that with the Doctor calling him every other second. Sighing with annoyance, Spock straightened his traditional Vulcan wear. After so long wearing his Starfleet uniform, wearing the traditional dress of his culture is an odd feeling. An odd illogical feeling that he should not divulge to anyone. Moving to the door of the study, Spock threw the door open. Instantly, he was faced with his older face, which looked quite surprised to be facing his younger self. Spock narrowed his eyes from suspicion.

Opening his mouth carefully, his counterpart explained himself. “I was about to ask if you required food soon.”

A pathetic excuse, if Spock had ever heard one - which he had, many times from a man named Jim Kirk. Appeasing his counterpart, however, Spock ignored the facts which showed that he was eavesdropping and nodded his head. “Food would be adequate. Shall I go to the market?”

“That would be most preferably as I have a meeting with the council of elders in approximately ten minutes.”

Spock nodded his head and walked out of the door. No more words needed to exchanged between the two of them. They both enjoyed the same taste of food, so it would be logical to create an old cultural dish that their father used to make. As he walked from the house, Spock couldn’t help but realize how differently his counterpart spoke. Despite being the same person, there were remarkable differences between the two Spock’s. His counterpart from the alternative timeline was strikingly more human than himself. He was never quite as exact as Spock was, and he embraced his humanity like it was something to be proud of. While Spock is proud of his heritage, he has never quite been able to wear it as proudly as his counterpart does. Perhaps he should prepare a more human cultural dish rather than Vulcan. He was positive that his older self would eat anything that Spock decided to make.

As he was walking to the market,the Vulcans he past stared at him. With Spock home, most of them expected he would repopulate. But he had yet to take a mate. Many Vulcans lost their mates, so Spock’s loss was no exception. Many Vulcans considered it entirely illogical for Spock to be on their new homeworld unless he was taking a mate. He didn’t pay them much attention, as he was quite used to disappointed gazes and disgusted grunts.

The market was already bustling with movement, Vulcans gathering the ingredients necessary for their meals later on that day. Previous to the destruction of their homeworld, many Vulcans had their own gardens. Unfortunately, the Vulcans still did not have the sufficient amount of time to create such beautiful gardens they used to own. So most frequented the market, which was in constant abundance of food. Spock wandered through the stalls, nodding to a few vendors he had known before the destruction of his home. He might not have been friends with them, but they had equal respect for each other.

It wasn’t until Spock saw familiar curls pinned in the most typical fashion that Spock saw someone he actually thought worth the time to talk to. Just as he was about call out to her, she turned and her face twitched with recognition.

“S'chn T'gai Spock!” Saavik cried out, walking away from the legumes she was examining. Like an after thought did she lift her hand in the traditional Salute. He almost narrowed his eyes at her greeting. When he last saw her, she never deviated from the typical Vulcan greeting, even when meeting a human. Though, last time he had seen her, he was leaving for the Starfleet Academy.

“Saavik.” Spock greeted, raising his hand in kind.

Almost puffing out her chest, she said proudly, “Lieutenant Saavik, to be accurate, Commander Spock.”

Spock’s eyebrow automatically raised. The last time he had seen Saavik, she seemed set on proving herself in the Vulcan Science Academy. He couldn’t help but be slightly pleased by the fact that she joined Starfleet. If she had not, Spock was almost positive she would not be standing in front of him today. “You are a lieutenant? Part of Starfleet?”

Saavik nodded, “I am. You were already on the Enterprise when I chose to deviate from the Science Academy. I wondered if I should have contacted you when I was assigned on the _Grissom_. Logically, I decided against contacting you.”

“May I inquire as to why? I would have been pleased had you contacted me, Saavik.” Spock explained, more accustom to verbalizing his feelings than other Vulcans. The market bustled around them and Spock became increasingly aware of the heads tilting in their direction. Perhaps they believed Spock would chose Saavik as a mate. It was a logical conclusion, they had known each other when they were children. Logical, but no where near correct.

“As you did on your own, I wished to prove myself on my own. Before I took an extended leave from Starfleet, my captain had informed me I was in line to become her second in command.” She informed him. She was proud of the fact, incredibly so. Her emotions showed so strongly compared to when they were children. He remembered when Saavik would be terribly confused by his mother’s display of emotion. Now, she seemed to him as much as a human as Spock was. It was curious to see the effect Starfleet had on Vulcans.

He nodded his head. “I understand. You heard of my mother, I assume?”

Saavik gave him pained look. “I grieve with thee.” Saavik whispered. Spock remembered the first day when Saavik was brought home by his father. His mother took him aside and explained to him that Saavik would be a little different than him, different than any other Vulcans as well. She was half Vulcan and half Romulan. From that moment onward, his mother treated Saavik as her own child. It helped, Spock supposed, that there was another girl in the house, Vulcan or not.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Spock adjusted his clothing. “Shall we walk?”

“That would be pleasant.”

They turned together, moving down the stalls filling the market. As they walked, there were many who still stared, but Saavik seemed to pay them no mind. Perhaps it was because she had been accustomed to the stares. While Spock may have been bullied, Saavik was always the end of every joke. Vulcan’s were ashamed of their biological connection with Romulans. Having a half Romulan around the school only served as a way to release your anger rather than a interesting person to study.

Spock watched Saavik investigate certain produce that she needed. She narrowed her eyes at them, inspecting them cruelly for any flaws they may have. She was pleasant company to have. At the same time, however, Spock was curious as to why she was even on new Vulcan. She seemed proud to have enlist in Starfleet, why would she take an extended leave?

As she turned away from the stall, she curled her nose up at the produce. “Completely inadequate,” Saavik informed him while they walked away from the produce stand to a different one.

“Why did you take an extended leave from Starfleet?” Spock asked, “To take a mate, I assume?”

Saavik’s eyes widened a fraction as she turned to face Spock. “That is not expected by your father, I hope.”

Spock shook his head to calm Saavik’s fear. “No. My father would expect us to continue doing what brings us most satisfaction.” If Spock didn’t know any better, he could have sworn that Saavik’s shoulders relaxed from relief.

“I am glad. I took an extended leave from Starfleet to aid in the reconstruction of the science academy. I plan to petition the remaining council members to increase the amount of text referring to our ancestors. Specifically connecting to Romulans.” Saavik shared with Spock. He knew which council members were alive, and he knew even if they were more open minded than the ones who had been killed, Saavik would have to really push for Romulan ancestry text. He was thankful, however, that she at least had a chance. She motioned towards a booth that seemed incredibly popular, people coming and going quickly with new produce in their hands. Saavik led them towards the booth. “And you, have you taken an extended leave from Starfleet? To take a mate?”

“I will not be taking a Vulcan mate, no. I have resigned my previous position in Starfleet” Spock explained. He did not want to explain to Saavik why he would not be taking a mate, specifically a Vulcan mate. From past experience, however, he knew Saavik’s curiosity would get the best of her.

Her head turned to his, starring carefully at his face. “It is perhaps my turn to inquire as to why?”

Spock took a moment to reply to Saavik. At first, he thought of omitting the truth, only explaining the bare minimum. But as Saavik’s eyes watched his own, he realized that it would be completely illogical to lie to Saavik. They were, after all, adoptive family. Hanging his head, whether from shame or the heat he did not know, Spock explained. “I became emotionally compromised in my position. The logical action was to resign from my post and return to New Vulcan to aid in the construction. I have yet to decide whether I will return to teaching at Starfleet, however.”

Letting the silence fall over them for a moment, Saavik turned to the stall they were stopped at and picked up two Gespars. Anyone could see they were incredibly fresh, therefore a delight to eat. After giving the vendor correct about of credits for the food, Saavik handed Spock one of the Gespars.

“Live long and prosper, Spock.”

He took the Gespar in his hand, nodding his head in agreement to Saavik. “Live long and prosper, Saavik.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed Saavik in this chapter, I loved her to death and she is my sweet child. So be warned, she'll be appearing in other chapters too!  
> Any comments, kudos, bookmarks, and subscribes are greatly appreciated! I love you all! <3


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